By Tammy Ellingson

A few weeks ago I taught my son how to play hooky – it needed to be done.  Before everyone gets all overly responsible and moral on me, it wasn’t a full day of hooky, and it wasn’t like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or anything; after all he’s only eight. He went to school in the morning as did I. After I was done teaching, I stopped in to say good-bye and from the door I could see my kid was pooped.  By pooped, I mean he was dog T-I-R-E-D.

So I did what any red-blooded renegade mom would do, I asked him if he wanted to come home with me.  He stared at me for a long while as if he wasn’t sure he heard me correctly.  I asked again.  He stuttered a moment and then said, “But mom, I have school all day.  Don’t I?”  Well duh, I thought to myself and for a split second I contemplated withdrawing my offer, but truthfully I wanted him to rest and enjoy a bit of one-on-one down time – something we don’t get often.

I surprised myself by what I did next – it was either a cowardly thing, or a good thing, depending on how you look at it.  I told him it was up to him – he could come home with me, have some hot chocolate, watch a movie and play a game, or he could stay at school – his choice.  Okay, so I may have stacked the deck a wee bit.  This is why I was not prepared to hear my eight year old do what he did next.  He looked over the day’s schedule on the board, talked through what he would be missing and decided whether it was something he needed to do that day, or if it could wait (really – I should take lessons from this kid – I still can’t talk myself through a day like that). And then, he said, “I think it will be okay for me to leave – should I ask my teacher?”

Hmmm.  Good question. Nope – not necessary to ask son – we will tell her because (and I guess this tidbit was new information to him) as his parent, I can make that decision and check him out of school for the day if I need to – even if he doesn’t have a dentist appointment.  Whoa…………what a revelation!  I know…………I nodded my head, winked and said “I think we need a mental health day.” Of course, he didn’t know exactly what I meant, so I whisked him out of the room, checked him out at the office and we drove away.

While in the car I explained that every now and then, when you’ve been working really hard, you need a break and you can’t always wait for the world to slow down and give you the time – sometimes you just have to grab it for yourself. It’s good self-care to take a break before you start to breakdown, and rest is just as important, more so sometimes, than homework.

I didn’t learn about mental health days until I was in college – way too late considering my busy life before college.  But I vividly remember the day one professor told us that once in a while, we would come to class only to find an empty room and “mental health day” written on the board.  He said we would never know when it would happen, and if we skipped class on our own, we would lose out on the gift of unexpected free time.  It was a gimmick I know, but it worked.  The mere possibility of getting to class and stumbling upon a little bit of freedom was enough to get me to class regularly.  The first day it happened I swear my heart skipped a beat.  I didn’t know what to do with the time – which, I’ve since learned, is exactly the point of a mental health day.

It’s not a day to catch up on housework, to organize your desk, to go through bills, or do anything you think you should do.  It’s a day to do nothing, or do those fun things you always promise yourself you will do when you are done with your ‘shoulds’ – the less productive; the better.

Yes, I know school is important.  I’m a teacher – I get that.  However education doesn’t only take place in a classroom, and there is nothing my son could’ve learned in school on that day that would’ve been more important than learning to listen to his body (and yes his mom too) and learn how to take a break.

After a day of cuddling on the couch, watching cartoons, eating popcorn, drinking cocoa and just hanging out together, he was ready for a good night’s sleep and back on track the next day.  It should hold him for a while.

However, I think he’s hooked – on mental health that is.