By Matthew Sherman

Went to the mall last weekend. Again. It’s beginning to be Elliott’s home away from home. We have ventured out a handful of times in the past few months early in the morning when the place is virtually empty. At 9 a.m. he can shout and listen to his echo, he can ride with me up and down escalators until he is satiated and he has the opportunity to run around like a maniac without getting creamed by the stroller and teenage armadas. That was what we faced on the weekend which, instead of just being a chance to get out of the house for a while, was a humanitarian effort, accompanying Shelbi as she looked for clothes. I was reminded again today of an unfortunate byproduct of having a small child. It’s virtually impossible to be ignored.

Ever since about the 7th grade perhaps my biggest goal in life has been to not draw attention to myself. I’ve never thought it would be fun to be the frontman of a rock band. Let me be Charlie Watts. You still get to play great music and travel and you don’t have to make an ass out of yourself on stage. And why would anyone want to be a cast member on Saturday Night Live? Let me be a writer. Backstage. Less accountability. Count me in. But I digress. (more…)